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When most of us get married we think we know the person we chose to spend the rest of our lives with fairly well. In most instances this is true: at the time we get married. Unfortunately people sometimes change, and often times not for the better. For whatever reason statistics tell us about half of us will cheat on our spouse at one or more times throughout our lives. There are as many excuses for cheating as there are words in the English language, and to the cheater they are always reasonable and acceptable. But to the other spouse, the “victim" the event can be life altering, trust shattering, family breaking, and in today’s age of AIDS and other diseases it can be life threatening. No matter what the reason for cheating, whether it’s a "two sided street" or just blatant disregard for your spouse’s emotions, chances are if you think your spouse is cheating 90% of the time they are, you just can’t put your finger on how you know. Below is a partial list of ways to tell your spouse is cheating. One or two of these alone can be totally innocent (remember people change) but start to string three or more together and, well let’s just say someone has some explaining to do.

1) LACK OF ATTENTION- You have always enjoyed a good relationship in terms of affection. Be it physical, emotional, or hopefully both, Your spouse has become distant and disinterested in you. This is probably the weakest indicator; by itself this behavior can be bought on by a myriad of reasons including the most common one, stress.

2) SUDDEN INTEREST IN APPEARANCE- You didn't marry a G.Q. guy. Suddenly they are living at the gym, buying new clothes, grooming themselves far better than they ever have before; maybe they bought a new sports car out of the blue. This all may be a good thing,    probably not though!

3) SUDDEN DEDICATION TO WORK- A very common easily missed indicator. pay attention to this paragraph. Your spouse has had the same job for years. Suddenly they are working more and more for no obvious reason. No promotion, no new responsibilities, maybe your spouse is travelling a lot more than they used to. Are they coming home later from business trips, possibly staying the extra night where before they always caught the "Red Eye" to be home? Maybe your spouse has new acquaintances at work. Proving this is being caused by infidelity can be extremely difficult and should be left in the hands of a professional. Do not drag your personal life in to your spouse’s work place. Nothing good can come of this. Real life is not like anything you see on a made for cable movie where the neglected spouse confronts the cheater and it all works out for them. At best you will look pathetic. the at worst scenario could be rather ugly.

4) SECRECY- Lately your home has been getting phone calls at odd hours Maybe you spouse is hanging around the phone or making an extra effort to answer the phone. Are you getting hang ups? Does your spouse have an email account you can't access. If your spouse behaves strangely, when questioned about a call this may be an indicator something’s up.

5) BILLS- Has your partner taken out a credit card or bank account for themselves. are there odd charges on statements, or has your spouse simply gotten the bills and paid them before you could see the statements? Does it seem your mate is short on cash suddenly for no apparent reason? Again this alone can be very innocent, but start stringing 1-2-3-4 together and now you are starting to see a pattern here.

6) INFATUATION- This is or should be a no brainer. Has your spouse suddenly begun to talk about an acquaintance? Or maybe a friend to the point of excess? If something interesting occurs at work we often share it with our mate. But if your spouse is exuberant over relatively mundane or uninteresting topics involving a coworker this could be a sign. Listen for infliction, watch body language. Does your mate get excited or animated while speaking of this person? These are signs that are hard to regulate and often finally give up the goose. Just to throw a wrench in the works the exact opposite may also be true. Does your spouse have someone at work they are or have been very close with? Does it seem that person has suddenly dropped off the face of the earth? How does your partner react if you ask about this person? Coworkers often spend a lot of time together bonding under very stressful circumstances, and unfortunately sometimes they just take the next step.

These are just a few of the many clues you can string together to determine if your mate is cheating. Like I said before alone they mean very little. String several together and you have something that at the very least needs a lengthy discussion. One thing I recommend is that you get as much information as possible before meeting with a detective. The less work we have to do is the less you have to spend. However Infidelity is a serious situation that should be handled by a professional unbiased third party. A professional investigator will obtain the facts good or bad and present them in a way that will be admissible in court in the need should arise. If you try to handle this yourself and your spouse is not cheating, or even if they are you will probably to more harm than good. What you need are the honest facts and that is what we will give you.



  JRD Investigations  845-565-3845   845-986-5922         email jrdinvestigations@yahoo.com